Ah! Brits!

I have been reading an interesting book about British behaviour and conversation codes. It tickles me because for the past year and the half, I've experienced all their quirks but was not always quite quick enough to discern their meaning between the lines. Sometimes they annoy me because I don't 'get' precisely what they are saying; but at most times, they leave me with a one of those inexplicable silent smile or smirk. 

1. Brits love irony

Irony means saying the opposite of what you mean. The British may not always do that, but as a non-Brit, you really gotta be alert to the possibility that they will be! I've long learnt to never take what they say at face value. 

E.g. when you ask them a straightforward question such as "How are the children?" Be equally prepared for a straight answer "Fine thanks", and for an ironic one, "They are delightful - charming, helpful, studious, obedient through and through." To which the reply should be, "Oh dear... one of those days aey?"

2. The understatement rule

Apparently, most Brits frown upon earnestness, gushing, boasting, expressive zeal and emotion. (Just remember they are the opposite of Americans!) They would rather feign and go for deadpan indifference or calm understatements. I remembered that I was really grateful to my Phonetics tutor for being such a supportive tutor and was openly expressing my appreciation to her. She ended up looking stony as if I had hit her handbag on her head. There was a very awkward silence. Later my Brit friend said, "Ermm... you just did quite an un-British thing there, which probably embarrassed her [the tutor]... um Brits tend to say 'thank you' with a bit of wry humour and try to keep it understated." Alright then.  

So a debilitating, critical illness may be described as = "a bit of nuisance"

A truly horrific experience = "not exactly what I would have chosen"

A sight of striking beauty = "quite pretty"

An outstanding performance = "not bad"

An act of abominable cruelty = "not very friendly"

An unforgivable stupid misjudgement = "not very clever"

A disgustingly filthy restaurant with unbelievably rude service = "I wouldn't recommend it"

To be able to discern what is between the lines, you really have to watch their facial expressions (especially that raised eyebrow!) and tone of voice. These are the betrayers. Now I know what my classmates mean when they say "I've barely started my revision." Hmm. 

3.  The self-deprecation rule

This goes hand in hand with their tendency to understate. This is customary and is always done so subtly, you really have to catch it when it happens! How many times I must have taken what my friends said at face value and didn't realise that I had completely misinterpreted them! 

Here's a good example from the book: 

So you meet this man and find out he is a brain surgeon. When you ask him why he chose this profession, he might say, "Well, em, I read PPE (Philosophy, Political Science, Economics) at Oxford, but found it all rather beyond me. So er, I thought I'd better do something less difficult."

You laugh (of course), saying that brain surgery surely couldn't be easier. He then quickly enters into another self-deprecation, "Oh no, it's nowhere near as clever as it's cracked up to be. To be honest, it's like plumbing with a microscope - except that plumbing is probably more accurate."

Then when you later find out that he had a scholarship because of first class honours at Oxford, he says, "I was a dreadful little swot." 

The Brits are a quite funny sort, aren't they?